The area is at the far eastern end of the Fraser Valley, in the lea of the mountains, and is some of the prime farmland still left these days. We went out on the highway and then returned on the back roads. It was a more round-about way but it was nearing the end of the day and the sky was really pretty and we weren't in a hurry. (see the two pics below) The highway is so sterile and we wanted to check out a few farms that had little artisan or produce shops attached to them. It turned out that they were all closed but we found them and made note of where they are and their hours of operation for next time.
Just about the only place that was open was the book shop. we checked that ahead of time. The shop is run by a father and daughter team with the mother in the background. I think she does the books. I found out about them because the mother was in an course I taught in the entrepreneurial program at BCIT a few years ago. I would gauge that she was in her sixties. The book shop also operates on the Internet and you can order books from them which they will mail to you. (As I have done) Mary had suggested I drop in and check the place out. It took me a few years! I wasn't sure she would remember me but she did, and my name too.
I found a few books that I needed and then we headed off to find some lunch. There were some really nice looking little cafes around the corner but they were closed on a Sunday and so we followed Mary's suggestion and found a bigger place a little further from the store -n a brand new, sterile mall. No worries though because the food was fine.
After lunch we wandered back to the store again and as we were poking about in some of the store windows an elderly woman passed us using her Zimmer frame. She stopped in front of me, apologized for eavesdropping, but said she would anyway, and exclaimed about the love there was between Spencer and I. She said she used to have it with her husband and that he had died a few years ago. I said that she must find it hard and she said she was so lonely. She said that you can't replace that sort of feeling and that she had noticed it with us.
Since we weren't strolling along arm-in-arm but were talking about what one of the empty shops might have been before it closed, I think she must have been picking up the fact that Spencer and I were having a nice afternoon and that we like one another. She probably had a wonderful friendship with her husband and misses it. After talking with us for a few more minutes, she went off on her way and so did we.
I was left thinking about what she said. It's not every day that someone comes up to me like that and certainly not to tell me about the love she feels between me and the person I'm with, when that person isn't my significant other. On reflection, I'm positive that happy camaraderie has an energy and that when you're alone and lonely you are particularly sensitive to it. It feels like everyone else in the world has it but you - like young lovers in the springtime.
I'm also reminded of how many lonely people there are in our communities. Holiday weekends seem particularly poignant. Families, families everywhere and they all look happy even if they're not. Insiders and outsiders, belongers and 'others'. How do you get 'in' if you're 'out'?
The fact is that even if the animals went two-by-two into the ark, we don't go two-by-two off the planet, or even across it. Really good relationships are rare treasures and we should recognize and celebrate them as such. Marriages often don't last, families having falling outs and friendships are often imperfect and fleeting. But some of them are gems.
Even the ones that are long gone leave a residue, a sweet aftertaste. I was remembering the other day about a girl with whom I went to summer camp when I was 12. She befriended me when I was being bullied by a girl in my tent who turned all the other girls against me. I don't remember her name but I remember the feel of her, sitting beside me on the bus on the way home.
I think the antidote to loneliness is appreciation. It's even more important than having things in common. When someone appreciates you, you feel seen and valued. You matter. You shine. We need genuine appreciation like we need vitamins.
This is a corn field with an interesting sky.
And a blueberry field a little later.
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