Send-off

I missed blogging yesterday as I was catching up on sleep from the night before when I was up late 'firing the grid'. I can't say as I experienced anything that made me feel connected to all the other people who were doing the same thing, as I had thought I might. I meditated, or at least thought about, things which have given me joy in my life and for which I am grateful. Several of them made me smile so, as the birds started to sing, I went off to sleep feeling quite happy.

This afternoon I went with Fleur to see Geoff. He is completely out of it now and was lying on his back snoring peacefully with the teddy bear that Aidan gave him in the crook of his elbow. I suppose one of the nurses put it there when they turned him over just before we arrived. Fleur sat beside him on the edge of the bed and I stood at his feet. I could hear the teaming rain outside the slightly opened window and a radio softly playing music in another room down the corridor. It was dimly lit except for the light from the door and the room felt slightly damp. After Fleur told Geoff that we were both there for a visit, neither of us said anything more.

As I closed my eyes and tuned in to Geoff's energy, I found him hanging out near the ceiling in the corner above his bed. I had the feeling that he's up there most of the time now and is pleased that he can get out of his body and remain out for lengths of time. He was standing with his arms folded over his chest and he looked as he used to before the cancer, with a full head of hair and healthy colouring.

I stood with my hands held out from my sides at about hip-height and angled towards his body on the bed. My palms prickled as they do when there is movement of energy and I sensed many beings with us in the room, as though they were sitting theatre-style in an oval around us. I didn't recognize them and it didn't seem important that I do so. It seemed that they were there to hold the space for Geoff as he prepares to cross over. Periodically a little jolt of energy travelled through my body and my feet felt heavy and solidly planted on the floor.

Over my left shoulder, behind me, I knew there was a doorway of bright light. Geoff looked that way and it seemed that he could see it. In my head, not out loud, I told him that he could go through it when he was ready and that it was safe. He moved towards it and then backed off again. I sensed that he is engaged in a back and forth dance, indicating to me that he wanted to go towards it but he wasn't sure of it yet, like a swimmer standing on the end of a diving board but afraid to jump. I told him he would find what he wanted to find on the other side of the light.

I wasn't quite sure if I was meant to do or say anything else so I asked my guides if I was finished. They said no and that I should stay right where I was. My arms floated up higher and I asked Geoff if there was anything he wanted to say to Fleur, to which he replied that he had already said what he needed to.

It suddenly occurred to me that he might want to say something to me, so I asked him. His immediate reply was to tell me that I (me, not him) am doing what I am supposed to be doing, right then in the room. I took this to be in response to the conversation that Fleur and I had been having in the car on the way to see him, about whether I was doing the right work in the world, rather than about what I was doing at that moment. A huge amount of energy tingled through me from my toes to my head and tears streamed down my cheeks.

The last thing Geoff did was come behind Fleur and put his arms around her in a big hug. Then he gave her a kiss and let her go. I closed off my energy and sat down with a sigh. Once we were back in the car, I reported what I had heard to Fleur because none of this conversation had gone on out loud.

I don't know when he's going to leave us but it wasn't today.